April 7th, 2021
Think about your average day, how many choices do you make in a day? Really think about it for a second... you can make thousands of choices every day. Now think about those choices, how many of them revolved strictly around you? Not you and other people, not you and your family, not you and your kids, JUST you. Take it down another layer, how many of them revolve around you and your own well-being? If I had to guess, not many of those choices fall under that category ... that’s where you have to start. After you finish reading this post, reevaluate your daily choices. Think about what you do from day to day, and make a list of ways that you can choose yourself each day. I started a list for you...
- go for a walk - go get your nails or toes done
- take a nap - put your phone on silent for an hour
- daily gratitude and affirmations - read
- listen to music or a podcast - have a glass of wine or your drink of choice
- laying in the sun - take a bath, alone (mommas, lock that door!)
these are only some ideas, there are thousands of ways to choose yourself.
When this journey started for me, I was doing everything for everyone else. Making sure everyone else had a good day. Making sure everyone else was feeling okay. Making sure everyone else was happy, and if they weren’t, I was doing everything I could to change that. The downside to being that person was that my needs & well-being weren’t being taken care of. Guys, I was even making sure those who didn’t check on me were doing okay above myself... like whattttt. That’s when something changed inside me ... why am I putting my effort into others, who aren’t doing the same for me. My energy & time was being spent on the wrong people or on the wrong things. THIS IS WHERE THE CHANGE BEGINS, BE FUCKING SELFISH.
When you neglect yourself you are saying to yourself that you are not worth it. That you don't matter. When in fact, the opposite is true. You ARE worth it. You DO matter. It's so easy to go around looking for these feeling of love and worthiness outside of ourselves, but there's a reason why they are called "self-love" and "self-worth". You cannot find them in anyone else. Only you can grant yourself the love you so freely give to others.
Knowing your worth
This allows for people and opportunities that come into your life, to rise to your standards when they truly appreciate and value you enough to do so. When you know your worth, it makes saying ‘no’ easy to the things you don’t want to entertain. Be okay with saying 'no.' Often times we feel bad or struggle saying no to others, but having the ability to feel comfortable with saying no allows you to feel in control of your choices. Your worth comes from who you are as a person, and how you choose to value yourself.
Being enough
First off, you are enough. You do not need to change yourself, the way you look, act, react, dress, or talk for anyone other than you. People who make you feel like you need to change to please them, are the people you should allow to walk out the door of your life. When they leave, you realize that the people who are still around, love you for you and enjoy you as you are. All of you, no matter what. I am a hot freakin mess, but my friends and family love me just the way I am.
Please understand that you enough, truly truly truly enough just as you are. The people who love and value you and actually want to be in your life, will show up when you learn how to love yourself first!
Life is all about making choices and I hope that you know that you deserve to choose yourself 100% of the time. This may seem like something so little and insignificant but I promise you, learning how to love yourself first and choose yourself, will set you up for such an amazing life. It takes time, experience, and patience but eventually you will get there! Take a second and leave a comment below of one way you plan to choose yourself. I am looking forward to reading your comments and cheering you on.
as always, you are worthy, you are capable, you are amazing.
xoxo nicole